


come back home

by raihaqyaza



Category: NU'EST, PRISTIN (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Leader-line, Light Angst, Mention of Wanna One, Mention of ex-trainees, Mention of fatshaming, Nu'ventin, Post-Diamon Edge, Post-We Like, Pre-Clap, Pre-Where You At
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 10:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13715382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raihaqyaza/pseuds/raihaqyaza
Summary: Nayoung tries to calm down, because is this not humiliating, to break down in front of the two people she admires and seeks respect from the most?





	come back home

come back home

by

raihaqyaza

disclaimer: they're not mine, none of them are (unfortunately), and i earn no profit whatsoever from writing this piece.

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Nayoung hugs Kyla tight at the entrance door of their dorm. It’s dawn, and they both have tried to be as silent as they can, but the shuffle of Kyla’s suitcase, the manager’s hurried whisper, and Nayoung’s erratic footsteps woke up everyone else. The goodbye that is only supposed to be five minutes long stretches into ten, and then a little extra, once Sungyeon and Xiyeon break down crying for their little _Illa_.  

“Girls, she can’t miss her flight,” their manager tries to coax them into letting her go, and they did, after Kyla assures them she _will_ come back sometime early March, just like promised.

Kyla drags her suitcase, meets Nayoung’s smile with the most apologetic expression, and Nayoung simply envelopes her in a hug. “Safe flight, Illa,” she whispers, and then quickly leaves a peck on Kyla’s head.

Kyla pulls back first, “I’ll be back soon,” she promises.

Nayoung opens the door with a smile and lets her exit the dorm as another employee from Pledis guides Kyla to the car that will take them to the airport. Their manager stays, and ushers the girls back to sleep. They won’t, Nayoung knows. They will be up and some of them will cry to the point of exhaustion, but they will try to stay up until Kyla announces she needs to turn off her phone for the duration of the flight.

Looking at her members one by one, she feels hollow inside. She stays frozen by the door, unmoving, until their manager nudges her gently. “Do you want to go somewhere?” the manager asks kindly.

Nayoung doesn’t remember saying yes, she only remembers feeling the cool gentle breeze of early dawn on her skin on their way to – Nayoung takes a quick glance at the road, to check where they’re headed – to the company building, it seems. Pledis needs to raise their manager’s salary, at this point.

Only her members and the manager know how she likes to spend her time when she’s upset – the dance studio, so she can channel her pent-up stress to sweat.

(She refuses to cry, so she chooses to exhaust herself. It works, all the time.)

As soon as they’re parked, Nayoung makes her way into the building without waiting for her manager.

It’s coming, she can feel it.

She runs down the hall with her head down as she feels her eyes start to burn and her chest constrict. There’s a nausea in her stomach as she makes a beeline toward Pristin’s dance studio, and gasps, because she can’t hold it in anymore, she needs to let go, needs to let it out, and her visions starts to blur. Her hand tries to pry the door open—it’s locked, it’s never been locked before, Nayoung lets out a sob, and she tries and tries, but _why_ won’t the door open—

—and then she loses her balance as the door clicks from the inside.

She stumbles forward, feels a pair of strong, yet warm, hands catch her before she falls, and hears a familiar voice, “Nayoung, what are you doing here so early?”

Nayoung’s breath hitches, and her eyes meet the worried gaze of Jonghyun’s.

She freezes in his arms. She blinks, and _oh_ she should have not done that, now tears are strolling down her face. She looks around, and realizes that she is disturbing their practice.

Why? Is this not Pristin’s dance studio?

(But Pristin’s not going to need the studio, they’ve finished their comeback and probably not going to have one any time soon, not until Kyla comes back)

A tiny part of her brain whispers _if she comes back._

“I—” Nayoung pulls away, nauseous, and steps back. “I’m— _sorry._ ” A quick bow, and then quickly wipes the tears.

The room is filled with silence and the boys seems to be unsure with what to do, until Dongho, who looks like he just received a phone call, walks carefully to where Jonghyun is – still within Nayoung’s personal space. He quickly whispers to the leader’s ear, and a look of comprehension instantly flickers in his eyes.

There is a whole entire communication that occurred in a single shared look between the two, and then Dongho nods.

He clears his throat, “Let’s mess with the kids, guys, they’re supposed to be passed out in the other studio by now.”

Minki snorts, “Like Soonyoung would let them.” But he picks up a towel, wipes his brows, and follows Dongho out without bothering to take a quick glance at her. She will eternally be thankful for that. They’ve grown closer now, after their shared episode in Weekly Idol, so he knows better than to ask her what’s wrong. Despite him telling her repeatedly that crying is not a sign of weakness, he knows she thinks differently and understand that she has her own pressure as a leader.

Aron, as he passes, simply sends her an understanding smile and closes the door behind them with a soft click.

It’s just her and Jonghyun now.

She refuses to meet his eyes. She doesn’t want to be subjected to his kindness, because she really might break down if he tells her it’s okay.

It’s not, it’s not okay, how can it be okay?

“We were just practicing for our comeback, it’s coming up really soon,” Jonghyun starts, as he sits down, leaning against the mirror. “I’m sure you’ve heard the title track.”

Nayoung wants to laugh, because _of course_ this is how Jonghyun will try to get her to talk it out, by pretending there is no problem at all until she’s ready to approach the topic on her own. How gentle can he be? If she barges in to Seventeen’s practice, she guesses she will be subjected to young boys endlessly panicking until Chan, sweet, little Chan, promises they will seek revenge to whoever it is that hurt her in order defend _‘Nayoung-noona’s’_ honor.

Jonghyun takes a big gulp from his drinking bottle and offers it to Nayoung, who shakes her head and decides to sit next to him, hugging her legs tight in her arms.

“What about the kids? Are they practicing for their comeback, too?” Nayoung asks, with voice only a sliver above whisper. “I thought the company gave them time to rest after the tour.”

“Apparently Soonyoung can’t rest, so he, Jihoon, and Seungcheol decided to come,” Jonghyun replies. Then, he chuckles, “I admire their dedication.”

Nayoung’s chest constricts once again, and she doesn’t like the horrible thoughts that’s filling her head. _Is that why she left, because she’s not dedicated to this life?_

She tries to take a deep breath, and when she exhales, she decides she doesn’t care anymore that Jonghyun’s there and gasps, then sobs. She hides her face in her arms, shakes, and cries, cries, and cries, because isn’t she supposed to be a leader? Isn’t she supposed to protect her youngest from the dirty whispers and terrible comments posted online?

She told her, again and again, to stop trying to find her name on Twitter or look at the comment section on her fancam. She’s seen it herself, she knows how cruel people can be, and although she can’t understand what the international fans are saying about her, Kyla can, she understands both the Korean and English comments, and Nayoung should have worked harder, should have taken stricter measures to prevent her from the—

—fat shaming.

(Kyla tries to assures her that’s not why she needs the comfort of her family, but Nayoung knows because she is a leader and tries to always be in the loop.)

Nayoung gasps, then sobs harder, as she remembers little Kyla, for weeks straight refusing anything that categorizes as food. Remembers her, not eating the ramyon that Jonghyun and Nayoung made for Weekly Idol, remembers her, constantly practicing despite the loud grumble of her stomach.

 _Just a bite,_ she tries to force her, and Kyla, pale and sick Kyla, refuses every single time with a smile and a “I’m not hungry, _unnie_.”

She sobs harder, and hates on herself for not doing enough, hates on the people that drove Kyla back into her shell, hates on the double standard in their culture that allows for male idols to be on the chubbier side but not them, not girls.

Why would she want to come back to this place, when she can be happy back at her hometown where people are more accepting to different standards of beauty?

“Hey, Minki told me you might need—”

Another familiar voice catches her ears, and then she hears loud, hurried footsteps coming closer to where they sit on the floor.

“—Nayoung-ah, what happened?”

Nayoung tries to calm down, because is this not humiliating, to break down in front of the two people she admires and seeks respect from the most?

“Jonghyun, did anything—?” the voice owner – Seungcheol – presses, with a hint of anger in his tone.

Nayoung rubs her eyes hard, “I’m okay,” she says, voice hoarse.

She feels a water bottle pressed into her hand, and she gratefully takes a sip.

From her blurry vision, she can see Seungcheol’s worried face so close in front of hers. His eyes express just enough anger and a promise to hurt back anyone who made her this way, and Nayoung’s heart would be giddy with happiness any other day, but not now, not this time.

“I’ll be okay,” she tells them, still avoiding their gaze.

Seungcheol offers her a clean towel, which she accepts to wipe the tears. “Is this about Kyla?” he asks gently.

Nayoung can visibly see Jonghyun wince by her side at the tactless question, and although she still feels terrible inside, she finds the difference in their characters to be too funny even after so many years.

She feels a warm hand takes hers. Seungcheol, she guesses, because Jonghyun is never so forward.

She can practically hear the gears in his head trying to form a sentence.

“She’s coming back in no time, just wait and see.”

Her heart stops.

The confidence in his voice makes her look up and properly meet his eyes, because how can he be so certain? So sure?

She tries to read his expression, and she finds nothing but pure determination, and it’s so _him_ that she can’t help but to believe him for a second.

“You don’t know that,” she whispers back.

Seungcheol’s determination doesn’t falter. “She told you she will, didn’t she?”

Nayoung doesn’t understand how that can make him have so much faith, but she finds pain in his determination and her heart breaks for him once she understands where he is coming from.

“I kept hoping they might come back, one day,” he tells her— _them_. Jonghyun, next to her, slowly offers his hand to Seungcheol, which he takes without a second thought. Nayoung remembers them, the four trainees that used to be in Seventeen’s pre-debut team. She also thinks that although she doesn’t know the original Pledis Boys, it must have hurt Jonghyun, too, when some of them left. Nayoung nudges for Jonghyun’s other hand and clutches it, because she knows he has his own demon, and at the end of the day, sometimes all they need is the comfort of those who understand the most.

Seungcheol laughs, and it sounds so hollow that Nayoung thinks, _no,_ _you don’t get to do that._ Because Seungcheol always tries extra hard to make sure his members are happy. He makes sure that they have enough lines, enough spotlight. He makes sure ‘ _My I’_ gets a chance, gets a consideration, because he doesn’t need any more people walking away under his leadership.

He meets her eyes and shrugs, “But who am I kidding, they never said anything about wanting to come back.”

“Not all of them,” Jonghyun reminds Seungcheol, of the one young boy that wishes he could stay but couldn’t go against his parents’ wish.

Seungcheol nods, “Right, but you get the point.” He rubs a thumb over her knuckles. “I remember wanting to call them day and night, just to ask, if they’re sure. To ask if they’re ever coming back. You know what they said?”

His strength in being able to talk about his pain so openly amazes her, and oh how she dearly wishes she can take his sufferings away.

“They’re not coming back,” Nayoung finishes for him, because she wants to be rid of the sorrow that clouds his eyes. Seungcheol smiles and looks down to their intertwined hands.

Jonghyun shifts, and Nayoung turns to look at him. “If… If she says she’s coming back, she will.” Jonghyun says. “She might like it there, with the comfort of her family, and I understand how that worries you, because she might finally realize that life is so much better when she’s not pressured to anything, but you have to believe that she’s going to be back with no regrets.”

The leader is projecting his own concerns, Nayoung catches quickly, and her heart breaks for him, too.

Minhyun might like it there, in Wanna One, and that worries Jonghyun, because he might find life in a fame to be so much more exciting than his life as a failed idol, but Jonghyun has to believe that Minhyun is going to come back, because he says so.

She gives him a nod, and she knows he doesn’t need any assurance that Minhyun is going to come back. He knows that in his heart better than Nayoung or Seungcheol.

Nayoung sees the corner of his lips tug into a small smile, and she breaks into one of her own.

She holds both of their hands up and clasp them close to her heart. “Thank you,” she tells them, eternally grateful.

Seungcheol says, “We’ll be whole again, soon.”

Because Seungcheol says it, Nayoung believes it to be true.

“Soon,” Jonghyun agrees.

And because Jonghyun agrees to it, Nayoung believes she can hold onto that faith.

They leave the dance studio together, hand in hand, and she finds the rest of Pristin members waiting for her down the hall, still in their pajamas. Behind them, Minki, Aron, Dongho, Soonyoung, and Jihoon stand close.

Nayoung lets go, and finds it deep within her heart to believe in Kyla, because as a leader, she knows no other way than to do so.

She returns to her members, who hugs her to no end, and Sungyeon suggest they video call Kyla because her boarding is in ten minutes, and Nayoung nods and passes her phone.

She can do this, because she can’t let them down.

Kyla’s beautiful face lights up on the screen and Nayoung waves excitedly with everyone else. She can do this. She looks back, sees the two pillars she cherishes the most, winks, and returns back to Kyla.

(She can do this, because she can’t let _them_ down.)

**Author's Note:**

> Another leader-line canon compliant, here you go.
> 
> To clear up the timeline: 
> 
> This is early around the first week of October 2017, when Seventeen just finished their world tour and Nu'est about to comeback with Where You At. I'm guessing that's when Kyla left on a hiatus because the articles that covered the issue came out in the second week of October, if I'm not mistaken.
> 
> Explanation to non-Pledis stan or just stan one to two of them:
> 
> 1\. Kyla is a Pristin member who's on hiatus. Officially, it's because she has a concussion after a practice gone wrong. Undergrond, everyone believes it's because she's more on the plus (and healthy) size compared to the other idols in Korean girl groups. She went back to her family in L.A.  
> 2\. My I is a duet between Seventeen's China Line, whom everyone believes always have the least lines in most of their songs, thus less spotlight. The process of how the song came to be is unknown, though, I made that up.  
> 3\. I don't know if the the boys are close with Nayoung, but for the story sake, let's just say they are. (Also, they're all 95'liners and their positions are rap)  
> 4\. Seventeen used to include: Kim Samuel, Dongjin, Doyoon, and Mingming (10th in Mixnine)  
> 5\. Pledis Boys used to be (first batch of Pledis' male trainee): Jonghyun, Minhyun, Dongho, Minki, Aron, Seungcheol, Doyoon, and a chinese boy that I don't remember the name of.


End file.
